never give a redneck a bow!!!
Pretty funny story.
>
>
>
>
> Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass
> compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went
> around our
> place sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an
> arrow. Did you
> know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor will take 6 rounds
> before it goes
> down? Tough sumbich.
>
> That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of
> Hazzard fan
> that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up Tshirt
> doused in
> chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows
> all over the
> place. Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there
> reallywasn't any fire danger. Ill put it this way - a set of
> post hole diggers
> and a 3ft. hole and you had yourself a well.
>
> Anyway, one summer afternoon, I was shooting
> flaming arrows
> into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I look over under the
> carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether).
> The light
> bulb went off. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I
> thought it
> would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner . . . lets
> face it .
> . . to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself ether really
> doesn't "sound"
> flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can
> of pyrodex
> (black powder for muzzle loader rifles) to add to the excitement.
>
> At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump
> and opened
> up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a
> little bit
> around the ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No
> biggie...1lbpyrodex and 16oz ether should make a loud pop, kinda
> like a firecracker you
> know? You know what? Screw that. I'm going back in the house
> for the
> other can. Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too.
> Now we're
> cookin'.
>
> I stepped back about 15ft and lit the 2stroke
> arrow. I drew
> the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk
> as the
> arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned
> to see my
> dad getting out of the truck... OH SHIT! He just got home from
> work. So
> help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to
> the can.
> My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in
> his eyes. I
> turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the
> starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main
> pile of
> pyrodex and into the can. Oh. Shit.
>
> When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet.
> I don't
> know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or
> just reflex
> jerk back from 235 $*)Q!#@$ decibels of sound. I caught a half a
> millisecondglimpse of the violence during the initial explosion
> and I will tell you
> there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1ft above the ground
> as far as
> I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust
> fog full
> of grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two. The daylight turned
> purple. Let me repeat this...THE DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE! There
> was a big
> sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I
> said "was".
> That mother got up and ran off.
>
> So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of
> my shoes
> with my Thundercats T-shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side
> of the
> carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback –
> ECHO BRAVO
> CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE DAMIT CEASE
> FIRE!!!!!His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the
> driveway. All windows
> on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow
> rollingmushroom cloud about 2000ft over our backyard. There is a
> Honda 185s 3
> wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are
> droopeddown and are now touching the tires.
>
> I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment.
> I don't
> know- I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear
> inside my
> own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would
> reallymatter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said
> something, felt a
> sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked
> out, woke
> later.... repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the
> idea. I
> remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat
> me some
> more. Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again. Thanks mom.
>
> One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around
> that stump
> again. Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad
> never did
> anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.
>
> Dad sold his muzzleloaders a week or so later. And
> I still
> have some sort of bone growth abnormality either from the blast or the
> beating. Or both.
>
> I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into
> archery.. Its good discipline and will teach them skills they can
> use later
> on in life. Something they won’t learn in school.
>
>
Pretty funny story.
>
>
>
>
> Around age 10 my dad got me one of those little badass
> compound bow beginner kits. Of course, the first month I went
> around our
> place sticking arrows in anything that could get stuck by an
> arrow. Did you
> know that a 1955 40 horse Farmall tractor will take 6 rounds
> before it goes
> down? Tough sumbich.
>
> That got boring, so being the 10 yr. old Dukes of
> Hazzard fan
> that I was, I quickly advanced to taking strips of cut up Tshirt
> doused in
> chainsaw gas tied around the end and was sending flaming arrows
> all over the
> place. Keep in mind this was 99.999% humidity swampland so there
> reallywasn't any fire danger. Ill put it this way - a set of
> post hole diggers
> and a 3ft. hole and you had yourself a well.
>
> Anyway, one summer afternoon, I was shooting
> flaming arrows
> into a large rotten oak stump in our backyard. I look over under the
> carport and see a shiny brand new can of starting fluid (ether).
> The light
> bulb went off. I grabbed the can and set it on the stump. I
> thought it
> would probably just spray out in a disappointing manner . . . lets
> face it .
> . . to a 10 yr. old mouth-breather like myself ether really
> doesn't "sound"
> flammable. So, I went back into the house and got a 1 pound can
> of pyrodex
> (black powder for muzzle loader rifles) to add to the excitement.
>
> At this point, I set the can of ether on the stump
> and opened
> up the can of black powder. My intentions were to sprinkle a
> little bit
> around the ether can but it all sorta dumped out on me. No
> biggie...1lbpyrodex and 16oz ether should make a loud pop, kinda
> like a firecracker you
> know? You know what? Screw that. I'm going back in the house
> for the
> other can. Yes, I got a second can of pyrodex and dumped it too.
> Now we're
> cookin'.
>
> I stepped back about 15ft and lit the 2stroke
> arrow. I drew
> the nock to my cheek and took aim. As I released I heard a clunk
> as the
> arrow launched from my bow. In a slow motion time frame, I turned
> to see my
> dad getting out of the truck... OH SHIT! He just got home from
> work. So
> help me God it took 10 minutes for that arrow to go from my bow to
> the can.
> My dad was walking towards me in slow motion with a WTF look in
> his eyes. I
> turned back towards my target just in time to see the arrow pierce the
> starting fluid can right at the bottom. Right through the main
> pile of
> pyrodex and into the can. Oh. Shit.
>
> When the shock wave hit it knocked me off my feet.
> I don't
> know if it was the actual compression wave that threw me back or
> just reflex
> jerk back from 235 $*)Q!#@$ decibels of sound. I caught a half a
> millisecondglimpse of the violence during the initial explosion
> and I will tell you
> there was dust, grass, and bugs all hovering 1ft above the ground
> as far as
> I could see. It was like a little low to the ground layer of dust
> fog full
> of grasshoppers, spiders, and a crawfish or two. The daylight turned
> purple. Let me repeat this...THE DAYLIGHT TURNED PURPLE! There
> was a big
> sweetgum tree out by the gate going into the pasture. Notice I
> said "was".
> That mother got up and ran off.
>
> So here I am, on the ground blown completely out of
> my shoes
> with my Thundercats T-shirt shredded, my dad is on the other side
> of the
> carport having what I can only assume is a Vietnam flashback –
> ECHO BRAVO
> CHARLIE YOUR BRINGIN' EM IN TOO CLOSE!! CEASE FIRE DAMIT CEASE
> FIRE!!!!!His hat has blown off and is 30 ft. behind him in the
> driveway. All windows
> on the north side of the house are blown out and there is a slow
> rollingmushroom cloud about 2000ft over our backyard. There is a
> Honda 185s 3
> wheeler parked on the other side of the yard and the fenders are
> droopeddown and are now touching the tires.
>
> I wish I knew what I said to my dad at this moment.
> I don't
> know- I know I said something. I couldn't hear. I couldn't hear
> inside my
> own head. I don't think he heard me either... not that it would
> reallymatter. I don't remember much from this point on. I said
> something, felt a
> sharp pain, and then woke up later. I felt a sharp pain, blacked
> out, woke
> later.... repeat this process for an hour or so and you get the
> idea. I
> remember at one point my mom had to give me CPR so dad could beat
> me some
> more. Bring him back to life so dad can kill him again. Thanks mom.
>
> One thing is for sure... I never had to mow around
> that stump
> again. Mom had been bitching about that thing for years and dad
> never did
> anything about it. I stepped up to the plate and handled business.
>
> Dad sold his muzzleloaders a week or so later. And
> I still
> have some sort of bone growth abnormality either from the blast or the
> beating. Or both.
>
> I guess what I'm trying to say is, get your kids into
> archery.. Its good discipline and will teach them skills they can
> use later
> on in life. Something they won’t learn in school.
>
>
