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Assumptions can ruin your day......

kgm1276

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A dad was saying bedtime prayers with his child and, as per routine, they prayed for family members. As they got to the end, though, the child said and “Good bye, Grandma.” “Odd,” he thought, but put it out of his mind. The next day, they got a call that Grandma had passed unexpectedly.

A few months pass, and again, towards the end of the bedtime prayers the child said, “Good bye, Grandpa.” Of course, the next day they got wind of Grandpa’s passing.

Shaken by this but not knowing what to do, the dad kept it to himself. A few weeks later, the child at the end of prayer said, “Good bye, Dad.”

Distraught, the dad could not sleep. So, up before daylight he showered, went to work and locked himself in his office. It was a miserable day, he could not focus on his duties, couldn't eat or drink. But, once the clock struck midnight, he breathed a sign of relief and headed home.

As he wearily faced his wife’s barrage of questions about his day, he replied, “It was just a weird day, but it’s over now...I think I made it. How was your day?” “My day,” she says, “was very bizarre. I had just started my tennis lesson when my instructor dropped dead of a heart attack.”
 
HA
Here's another in the same category ........

A drunk that smelled like a brewery got on a bus one day. He sat down next to a priest. The drunk's shirt was stained, his face was full of bright red lipstick and he had a half-empty bottle of wine sticking out of his pocket. He opened his newspaper and started reading. A couple minutes later, he asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis?"

"Mister, it's caused by loose living, being with cheap, wicked women, too much alcohol, and contempt for your fellow man," the priest replied.

"Imagine that," the drunk muttered. He returned to reading his paper.

The priest, thinking about what he had said, turned to the man and apologized: "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to come on so strong. How long have you had arthritis?"

"I don't have arthritis, Father," the drunk said, "but I just read in the paper that the Pope does."
 

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