Another thought...
If recoil and weight could be an issue, how about an AR10? It will do everything you want and will be big enough for if either of them ever decide to hunt elk, plus it would give you a backup gun for elk. Palmetto State Armory always have flash sales for components and you could build your own for a lot less than buying one off the shelf. And with a multi position collapsable stock, it would fit all of you.
I'm an addict...archery, rifles, shotguns, handguns, muzzleloaders, hunting, fishing, fly fishing..and I don't want rehab