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Toxic Friend !!!!

Trigger50

Well-known member
Joined
Jul 11, 2010
Messages
1,283
Location
Minnesota
I want to scream & then cry !!! Ive just been backstabbed by what I thought was a good friend. He's trying to claim my hunting grounds for himself. I have a great situation w a rancher that lets me & one friend hunt every yr. Been doing this for 13 yrs straight. I have a circle of 5 or so friends that get invited to come with me in turns.

Ijust got a call from this so-called friend. He's trying to get his own permission from this same rancher without my consent. This ranch has enough hunters already & I'm sure he will be wanting to hunt the same areas as me.

I'm just speechless that a so called friend would try to steal a hunting spot I invited him to join my on in the past. I flat out told him... please dont ask permission, its my hunting area.
 
Contact the rancher and express you concern that one of your guests misunderstands what being invited to hunt the ranch one time actually meant. One time. As in, only as your guest. Let the rancher know you are sorry for any inconvenience this created.
 
The actions of your "good" friend are liable to shut down access for everyone. I've seen it happen before when "John" has long standing permission to hunt and "Bob" uses his friendship with "John" to get his own permission. Landowner gets tired of the whole hassle and shuts access off to everyone.
By all means, contact the rancher as LopeHunter suggested. How long until he brings one friend with him who does the same thing? I'd have a pretty serious heart to heart with your good friend. If he can't see how inappropriate this is, you guys aren't going to be good friends very long.
 
Happens repeatedly in many locations....very unfortunate and i would go for a drive out to see the rancher and explain how important your access is and your long standing friendship and how you don't want any actions by this guy to impact on your current agreement.

It seems the older i get the tighter (read smaller) my group of friends is who come away hunting with me. We always take out a few international guys each year for different hunts, but locally i reckon i could count on a couple fingers the guys i really trust and who i freely share hunting information with, and that is part of the reason why i spend so much time hunting alone locally and overseas, hassle free and i can make decisions as i please.
 
I feel for you but it happens all the time in the UK as there is no public hunting, people are always knocking on farmers doors offering cash to kick off the existing hunter and take their money. Only happened to me once, but it's so annoying.
I like the reply one of my farmers gave a hunter, 'NO, now piss off' she is nearly 90 years old!
Cheers
Richard
 
A similar situation for me when I invited my brother-in-law to a place where I even had permission to use the cabin on the property. He noticed where the key to the cabin was hidden when I retrieved it and so he goes back later by himself uninvited, forgets to turn off the waterpump and drain the line, line freezes and bursts, I get blamed and there goes my setup. Now he wonders why I won't go hunting with him anymore.

Hope you're able to head him off at the pass; friends of that caliber no one needs.
 
How far away does your FRIEND live. I think I would have to pay him a PERSONAL visit !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
 
I had a few ranches I had permission to hunt on,one got taken by good friends,the same way , for a fee.
I stopped hunting there and it went downhill.
An old rancher I know and help a lot over the years, heard what happened on the ranch next to his and asked why I never asked to hunt his place? I said ," I know you have lots of hunting friends and figured it was a given it was off limits".
He said everyone asks,but you have my permission to hunt, just call the day before to let me know your coming and gave me the combo. I helped mend fences,work cattle and prune his fruit trees for yrs and was only one to hunt the ranch for 20 yrs.
We had a 3 point or better rule and I took many great bucks off that ranch,alone. Never invited the many who asked to go and lost a few so called friends in the process.

Old Papa Joe and I still talk on the phone and I get an X-mas gift box from him every year.
He knows he can come hunt elk any time here and has come by on way to some rodeo or such.
He say's everyone, including my bro, ask to hunt his place now..
He tells them only his grand kids and Hank get to hunt it.
 
I had this same thing happen to me a few years back, Only I got to find out about it from the landowner. My "friend" neglected to tell me about it.

We haven't spoken since.

It is really sad to see all these stories of this happening. I have 1 friend that I hunt with now. I've made it very clear to him that he doesn't hunt my spots unless I'm with him.
 
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I have some good friends that have a great goose hunting spot near our houses. I have been invited almost all the times we go and then one day he had to cancel. He told me I should go by myself, but I declined saying it was his spot. Afterward we had a talk and he told me in no uncertain terms that if it happens again, he wanted me to go. That there is the definition of a good friend. Quite the opposite of what happened to Trigger. Over the years, I have went a couple of time by myself to this spot (I pay for 1/3 of the gifts that we give the landowner), but I still feel uneasy and ask repeatedly if it is okay. He just laughs at me. He hunts my dads swamp as well and it is just a great situation.

Say, uh, Trigger, you don't happen to have that rancher's phone number handy, do ya?:eek:
 
I hunt alone, public lands so it's not an issue for me but sometimes when I read "Dear Abby" or some such in the news paper I think the answer is to take the article to the perp and let them read it. In today's day and age, you could just give your friend a link to this thread and ask him to read it. Then there is a least some objectivity that comes with a variety of opinions from different angles and it's all anonymous (his name is not out there). Then let the chips fall where they may. Food for thought.
 
This is a sad deal, Tim. It is sad when greed overcomes friendship, but at least now you see his true colors.

The worst part about it is that it might prevent you from sharing some great hunts with people in the future, as you are too worried someone else might pull the same thing.
 
Wow, that really sucks...trust is a tough thing these days. People are ridiculous...friendships are hard to come by these days, ruining it because of greed...what a tool bag.
 
I had a friend tell me about finding someone in his favorite spot in Idaho. He thought it was strange since he had never seen anyone there before. After striking up a conversation with the guy he found out that it was his ex-wife's new boyfriend. That is toxic :D
 
I had a friend tell me about finding someone in his favorite spot in Idaho. He thought it was strange since he had never seen anyone there before. After striking up a conversation with the guy he found out that it was his ex-wife's new boyfriend. That is toxic :D

SSSthfu worthy......
 
Its gonna be a couple unsettled months to see if this plays out or not. One factor that I didnt mention in the original post is that I'm not able to hunt this ranch this yr because of an elk hunt I have going this yr. So I think that this former friend thinks he can take my place. Which actually I wouldnt mind if I trusted this friend, but I dont trust this guy now. I know that if I consent to him going there this yr without me, it will open a door that will be hard to close. He'll think he can come whenever he wants with or without me. This is his personality. I wish I would have ended this friendship along time ago. But 20 yrs ago he was the only hunting buddy I had at that time. We had alot of great memories together, but I guess people change. I told him straight up that I dont approve of this & am very upset. He didnt respond. I'm learning the hard way, to be really selective w my friends.
 
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That does suck.
About 15 years ago I got an idea that shortly after the big game season ended in my favorite western state, I would go on a scouting mission for a new deer area . Opened the gazzetter circled a couple likely looking spots in a part of the state I had never been to before. Parked at what appeared to be good spot , hiked over a couple ridges and up jumped 4 big bucks ! I've taken 5 different buddies hunting in the area over the years since, and had some awesome times .
I've let the the guys know that I really appreciate that they haven't come back on their own or with other buddies, so far so good. True hunting buddies are hard to find and it would tough to loose one.
 
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